Monday 4 November 2013

Remember Remember…

“Remember remember, the 5th of November…Gunpowder, treason and plot.”

 The iconic tagline signifying one of the biggest British national celebrations in the calendar year, with the most terrifying and true of back-stories. The real root cause of such celebrations, a failed terrorist attack which if completed would have brought the country to its knee’s. Once more the combination of the British psyche, sense of grand reserve mixed with a wonderful sense of occasion, pomp and ceremony has resulted in one of two occasions throughout the year where the explosions of fireworks are permitted. Barmy yet brilliant British logic at its finest!

 
The 2005 blockbuster ‘V for Vendetta’ which cast a futuristic spin on the tale of Guy Fawkes giving the tale a new lease of life backed with a Hollywood budget and exposure. With the main character donning the mask of Guy Fawkes in his battle against political oppression and corruption, leading to the mask taking on a pop culture status adopted by many political demonstrators throughout Europe. Same story, same concept just fresh impetus.

 How normal is once a year coming together in our hundreds to huddle around a huge and only slightly safe bon fire burning a so called icon’s scarecrow reincarnation, whilst we terrify pets across the nation with thousands of pounds worth of explosives shot into our skies?

 Brilliantly as strange is the Mexican celebration of the ‘Day of the Dead’ where the passing of souls is celebrated with a very eerie style of parade, carnival and costume. Now not only contained to Mexico, the style of this creepy celebration has provided an excellent Theming opportunity for all events professionals, that is of course in a similar fashion if you ignore its purpose to remember the passing of loved ones!

 This of course is not the only example of our apparent quirky relationship with fear and happiness. Consider most universal traditional children’s stories, especially nursery rhymes! Stories such as Hansel & Gretel which are fundamentally based on the capturing, entrapment even torturing of children.  With a hearty dose of witchcraft not to mention murder to finish off. Yet for decades parents have used these as bedtime stories?
 
Ultimately, as we all know and love, all we really need to have a right old knee’s up is an excuse, regardless of how historically significant or correct that excuse may, lets just celebrate!

HEALTH WARNING; unless you’re crazy and a slightly dopey footballer, DO NOT SET FIREWORKS OFF IN THE BATHROOM!


 

 

Wednesday 30 October 2013

Happy Halloween?


Our dearest of friends from the t’other side of the great pond have long celebrated the force known across the globe as Halloween with a real American sense of enthusiasm which now appears to be spreading. Some would point to blastfamous worshipping of all things frightening and evil whereas most would simply state “it’s just another way of making me spend my money” Sighed the exhausted mother!

 
So for those of you who haven’t quite decided which side of the frightful fence to perilously perch on. Here’s a selection of highly themed and experiential examples;

 
Thorpe Park’s annual fright providing the ultimate ‘Fright Night’ having teamed up with the Scare Group UK to offer attendees’ not only a terrifyingly lit turn on the parks rollercoaster’s but in every crack and crevice of the park zombies along with a variety of characters from the Saw movie series lurk with the no other intent than to scare. Offering a Halloween to remember… genuinely only for those with a high scare threshold, consider this almost a health warning, click here for further details.

 


As ever London offers an array of fright nights from the grizzly to the gruesome, most all coming in the shape of The Vaults, a now unused Underground train station filled with mystery, history and tales of another time and another world. These masters of morgue promise a playground for the freak in all of us. Activities include DJs of the undead, the graveyard cinema, the abandoned end of pier arcade games and crazed capers from the finest twisted cabaret acts. Click here for full listing.

 
 
The extent of our developing fascination with all things spooky can be directly linked to our pagan past and medieval suspicion and now measured by increasing popularity, then recognized by the establishment of national Zombie Day! An event which takes place in over 50 cities worldwide, organized marches of the undead are staged with a meet place and a detailed route for the general public either to join the chaos or hide. This years London march started at Marble Arch Tube station and spread right across the capital ending up in a Zombie Ball.

 
This Halloween rather than being frightfully dismissive or venting annoyance at the fact kids are knocking the doors for sweeties. Perhaps we should start to embrace this celebration both within the industry and our social lives to fully realize its Theming potential. According to the demand for such events and activities, this could be a strong event theme throughout the calendar year. None the less will prove a ‘freaky’ one to watch over the next few years.

Thursday 3 October 2013

Rise to the Rooftops!

This summer has seen an event based, cocktail laden and cinema enthused ascendancy to the roof tops of London. This got me rather intrigued to see the fantastic measures fellow Event Managers are now taking creatively to push borderlines of experiential expectations.

 Once more it would seem that the socialites of this wonderful nation are seeking and demanding further thrills within they’re already diverse night out and events calendars. Heading up onto the cities rooftops would usually indicate that you are in indeed the answer to one of the worlds great riddles, the secret identity of Batman, or you’ve drawn in a panicked crowd with the collaborative plea of ‘Don’t do it!’.

 
No longer… sure our cities have long offered plenty for us to see and do at ground level, even our underground providing our transport and now our roof tops providing us with beautifully scenic ways of enjoying our time.

 
Here are some highly engaging examples; the long established Kensington Roof Gardens a secretive member’s only glamour spot that reeks of exclusivity, then there’s London’s newest beach Camden Beach, that’s right…Camden Beach, a temporary pop up postcard perfect makeshift dreamy beach all on the terrace of The Roundhouse, no North Devon about it strictly North London!

 
Our favourite, The Roof Top Hot Tub Cinema Club what a wonderful collaboration of words and concepts. Now allowing revellers year round to take in the sights of the city, favourite flick all in the comfort of your own hot tub…blissful behaviour.

 
This heady and height based summer trend really has got the IT crowd shaking they’re cocktail flutes with vigorous anticipation flocking up top with tickets in high demand, understandable considering the views naturally on offer and the occasion outside chance of a sunset. Refreshingly in such health and safety focused times, in which we all strive to add value to our event guests, delegates and clients such fresh innovation is brought to the forefront of the industry and celebrated.

 
So then class to recap; Take a fantastic reason for staging an event + take said event concept on top of scenic roof top in a city near you = Great time had by all.

 

Sunday 8 September 2013

Tales of ‘Cirque Berserk’ Theming


Roll Up! Roll Up! Roll Up!

 The Theming trend of the year has caravanned its way into town, or at least to an event near you… followed by an array of beasts, freaks and  right royal Ring Leaders.

It’s the Circus!

Since its arrival into Britain the Circus has long been held close to our hearts, perhaps sometimes for the most questionable of reasons, those Victorians were a curious bunch! Even to a stretched sense in current ‘civilised’ nations such as the Uk we still love to gawp and poke a psychological stick at those who are different or even gifted. Immediately echoed within the events industry, where at present Circus themed events, playing on the Retro Revival are all the rage, without a clown in sight!

 A theme which allows an Events organizer oodles of creative scope, from aesthetics to activities, not to mention the performers! It would appear we’re not alone in our love of the old fashioned Big Top.

 
 
Cirque Du Soleil now operates a worldwide franchise complete with the Elvis Presley and Jackson estates collaborating to tell stories of stars we know so well, through specialist circus performance. All re-designed to take audience members on a journey through a narrative almost to the extreme of forgetting you are indeed witnessing a Circus performance. Something as an experiential events provider we strive to offer such high levels of escapism through all of our themed events.

 

Other experiential examples of this apparent Cirque Craze being offered by the UK’s healthier than ever Festival Industry, no matter the audience whether families or creative’n’cultured types the added element of Circus always seems to please. This years Standon Calling has entirely adopted the lure of this vintage arty entertainment form. It’s fantastic to see like minded forwards thinking within the local industry engaging our local community here in Hertfordshire.

 

If Circus appeals then also check out London’s Southbank where the Wondergroud Festival is now fully underway, with shows ranging from Canadian Lumberjacks to a traditional Parisian Burlesque knee’s up! Something for the clown or contortionist locked away in each of us.

 
For whatever reason the Victorian sense of intrigue continues to resonate within both the current events marketplace and British psyche. Industry wide we can all only admire and hope to emulate as a company the circus’s ability to adapt to its audiences needs, changes in legislation, flexibility to reinvent & diversify in order to continuously pack out venues through the ages.

 

However, one aspect still entirely up for debate being clowns, funny or just creepy? Either way I ruddy loves em!

Tuesday 27 August 2013

The Olympic Parks Pop Up Legacy


Firstly dear readers I realise as ever I’ve been an absolute hound on all sorts of frightful fronts! Firstly I’ve only gaawn and bleedin’ swapped shires for summer! Devonshire for Hertfordshire & very plan to continue to pester both! So some entries may be SLIGHTLY less Devonian focused. Secondly I’ve been an as absent as Rolf Harris to children’s television…apologies a situation I plan on resurrecting, no…not Rolf.

 
In recent times I’ve seen an awful amount of interest in all things ‘Pop-Up’. Whether it be exhibition stands, high impact promotional instillations or promotional ‘Pop-Up’ shops offering the latest products.

 

Following the success and positivity of last summers Olympics Londoners have a new exciting and dynamic outdoor event space…The Chuffing Olympic Park! A fresh ‘Popped-Up’ Festival Site. Harnessing the nation’s feel good factor following Olympic glory the park has already played host to an array of outdoor cultural events, ranging from the Open East Festival to the Wireless Festival.  

The sheer scale of the project does impress; amongst the on-going renovation works, you’ll find a festival field you’d never expect, complete with swing ball arenas, cultured catering, multiple stages and a chunk of astro turf to play host to over 70,000 bottoms of all sorts of sizes without feeling squished…no mean feat! 

 
Having recently attended an epic Gentlemen of the Road record label Gig at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, containing some musical chaps you may have heard of Mumford & Sons, Vampire Weekend & Ben Howard. This heady hedonistic heaven got me thinking…

 

 So far, the immediate Olympic legacy has been most enjoyable, with the diverse nature of the Park’s Event calendar perhaps the most pleasant surprise. Yet, the best bit of the lot! Is the fact that this ‘Pop-Up’ perfect festival ground is wham bam in the middle of London’s east end bringing exciting arts programmes to the masses, a green playground which really shouldn’t be. Here lies the nation’s fascination and long may it continue!

Keep your eyes peeled for more thought provoking ‘Pop Ups’ as the trend continues to sweep the industry & nation.

 

Tuesday 20 August 2013


Festivals Enhancing Experiential Value


Festival goers now seek that added value, the Wow Factor! Usually through the tantalising aspect of Theming, I’m a chuffing sucker for a hearty slice of themed cake…any chance to dress up & ‘act up’.

 To truly stand out in an already saturated summer music festival market, we’ve noticed the great efforts festival organisers nationwide are making to distinguish their events, whether by creating a niche for themselves or specializing in the wacky and wonderful. We’re huge admirers of the work these guys are doing, by creating experience that are memorable and special to keep ‘goers’ buzzing until the following year’s efforts. With such high experiential levels achieved, then consider the marketing campaign somewhat nailed.

Two Festivals this summer I’ve spotted are; The Playgroup Festival & The Boomtown Fair. (Follow Links for further amazement)

 

 The Playgroup was born from the quirky stirrings of Event Organisers in Brighton, staged in a secret Sussex location; attendee’s are grouped into tribes of toys, picked up and camped separately. Ranging from Toy Soldiers to Dinosaurs... even Barbie’s! Brilliantly the tribes are then pitted against each in a series of Playgroup challenges throughout. Whilst the ‘kool kidz’ from Brighton’s diverse music scenes entertain the lavishly dressed crowd. In a ludicrous lovely nutty-shell, every creative and experiential aspect of a summer festival has been absolutely amplified for the benefit of all fans of nostalgic fun.
 
Anybody partial to all things bonkers’n’brilliant from in and around Bristol will, know and love The Boomtown Fair. Think… Mad Max, think… fun loving zombies, think… the best futuristic apocalyptic world you’d ever want to imagine & BOOM! You’ve arrived at the Boomtown Fair. In a world where a bombed out Tesco’s Store becomes a Jazz Club, Inflatable Churches with Spaceman Pastors officiate legal weddings. Boomtown allows its attendee’s to utterly escape to the best rubbish future time travel, just for three days!

 

Sure, most festivals have SOME quirky factors/ areas, yet these guys can truly be considered the Pioneers upon principle of Perplexing themed events, Experts of festival Escapism, experiential offerings to the Extreme.

Long let the festival industries continue to take us away to worlds we could only dream of. Escapism is something we all seek from the events we choose to attend, if through our festivals we’re enabled to become futuristic zombie pirates for the weekend, let the experiential escapades continue! 

Tuesday 2 July 2013

Devonian Festivals All Up in Your Face!


Devonian Festivals all up in your festi-face

Hey fun chimps!

Here I am to fling some absolute laugh turds your way…metaphorically, of course.

This latest instalment has the filthy theme of festivals of a Devon based nature running throughout its core.

Firstly one must declare that one’s retched self-spent the duration of these modern excuses for casual flannel-esque weekends of false hedonism…as a market trader! Like an absolute sell out, sure, I’m going to plug away here…especially after freshly launching the new website…for all of the knowledge you seek punch in www.figureitoutphotography.co.uk or punch the chuffer into facebook.

 
Plymouth Volksfest, a tantalising tasty little festivals based on the notion of life on the road in some sort of variation of Volkswagen automobile…yet the festival however could almost do with its name changing to Plymouth People with a Limited Wallet & Vocabulary Fest. Although boasting quite the dreamy musical line up including Blog favourite (may have excitedly informed you of before) Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer!!! Mad Dog McCrae…Sure. Countless others relative South West music scene ‘Names’ finely crafting their sounds and skills to highly intoxicated yet appreciative audience.

A strangely enjoyable weekend was had by team Figure It Out! Photography once the ropiest fair weather only Marquee £50 smackers on eBay with free delivery can buy a young rascal had been bodge jobbed to an absolute art form. On a final count of 27 attempts ranging from physically attaching a guide rope to neighbouring traders key cutting van to utilizing skills from boy scouts i.e. gaffer taping sturdy sticks onto flaky metal shearing with every breeze. Oh not to mention picketing an entire fence as an anchor…Pppbah!
 

Onto LemonFest…oh Lemonfest, my little piece of summer perfection what a dream you truly were. After binning the nosher of a Marquee for a weather hardened Transit, instantly adopting the feel of being the long lost love child of Derek trotter, a largely unavoidable consequence of selling stuff from/around a van. Again perfect Devonian sunshine washed over us like summer which was actually longer than a Tuesday afternoon! With some absolute musical finds coming in the delectable shapes and forms of Ekul’s House, Owen Penrice & The Kingskins not to mention the fittest and most adorable ginger topped acoustic female on the planet Lucy Rose, on voice alone, she’d be able to launch a freshly creamed turd into an audience… and nobody would move a muscle purely transfixed almost paralysed by harmonic brilliance.
 

Another noteworthy mention going to that of the sheer existence of Vimto Candy Sprays which instantly mug your brain right off thinking thirst has been clenched yet only providing a largely sugar based coating of the tongue.

Finally… you can almost relax, Devon I’d like to congratulate you on your ever growing list of incredible summer festivals, celebrating & gatherings of a joyous nature ranging in taste, style & scale…long may such organised summer vibed skull duggary continue.

Readers allow the festival season to touch you whether appropriately or not in the most sensual and spiritual of ways imaginable…whatever you choose to attend this summer….friggin’ enjoy it!

Huge thanks to the continuous support of A Kick Up The Arts without whom the above experiences simply would not have been.

Sunday 2 June 2013

A Clockwork Orange To Beach Polo

Apologies Flithbags!

I genuinely intend to update y'all sooo much more regularly than this, the very essence of this bleedin' blog is to tell the stories of a frolicking funster in Devon aspiring to carve his path in life every time a story rears its fruity head....almost weekly. Yet auld father time fingers me in the metaphorical writers bum! I hate it so.

Since we last danced this absolute slow jam of a dance we've two bank holidays and relative sunshine! Consider this Bank Holiday Tales - Part Uno.

Now the first bank holiday of the month was spent as follows; dressed as a massive cultural sexual offender definitely on the list for multiple offences, hopefully largely flashing rather than anything serious.

Firstly came another absolute blast from Kinky & Quirky and show to celebrate all things geek, Sci-Fi & sexy 'May the 4th Be With' Burlesque & Boogie at the English Riviera Centre, Torquay. Headlining was the genius Gentleman Rhymer, pioneer of Chap Hop Mr.B!!! Check this; http://www.gentlemanrhymer.com/ as even i don't possess the words to describe just how good this guy is! Now the rapey element comes with the fact that my drogues and I spent the entire evening dressed the cast of A Clock Work Orange, your maybe thinking COP OUT! Don't....this piece of cinematic mastery is recognised as the 4th best Sci-Fi Movie this world has produced...hence the cultural aspect of the weekend. Yet, one can disappointingly inform, no "Bit of the old in-out, in-out" for me.

The following day contained further dress up as absolute historic sex pests....Pirates! To be exact, the Brixham Pirate Festivals World Record attempt at creating the worlds longest pirate conga line...the port basked in 1980s pirate licked disco glory...mostly as its easy to break a record when your the first to attempt the chuffer. I'll confess we joined and fighted for the noblest of pirate traditions "The right to fight, for the right....to run away" J.Sparrow (1827) There's certainly something soul satisfying for a chap from the South West to fully indulge in a day full of piratical activities such as staggering around bashing all sorts of sword against anyone & anything, surrounded by a world looking the part.

A personal venture of Mine with Figure It Out! Photography, check & FB 'Like'; https://www.facebook.com/#!/FigureItOutPhotography

 
Took me into a world brilliantly madder than a bag of frogs attached to a jet ski....Devon Geek Nights= Wowsers....these guys know how kick it geeky! A juicy little monthly event held on the outskirts of Exeter in The Golden Pond Chinese Restaurant & Bar, Caution this event contains those who are serious about chosen topic and a challenge to their knowledge may result in a lengthy Dr.Who or worse lecture - Re-enactments - An Awesome buffet which is likely to broaden your waistline - Amazing Kapow! vibed prizes. Great show all round! Confirming once more....i know nothing about Star Wars, nor do i wish to!
 
Finally for this week, sure i attended the annual champagne licked & filthy rich enthused annual Beach Polo Exhibition, held on the sands of Watergate Bay, Newquay. The sun shone, the horses or 'Ponies' as the absolute British Sargent Major type commentator referred affectionately to them as pounded the sands as if they actually knew what was going on....all to the fine reggae reggae sauce sounds of the Back Beat SoundSystem! Shamazingly these chuffin' 'ponies' genuinely seemed to wince at exactly the right to avoid an absolute clobbering in the chops...most of the time. Even with an occasional spot casual animal cruelty, quite the spectacle backed up by a sexual Atlantic sunset.
 
Stay tuned as next week...I'll give a right royal review of filthy festivals & my trading experiences at... for the time being indulge yourselves in this word smithery whilst i scrubby some of the mud outta me inner loins.

Monday 1 April 2013

It's Only Bleedin' Iron Fest!

Bloggers...bloggers, my beeeautiful blightful bloggers.

Please don't rise up against me......yet one is about to (actually for the first time) use this sacred Blogspot as a promotional/sales tool! I've inflicted a deep & infectious wound and i can only humbly hope you'll forgive me!?

Yet, my reasoning harnesses great excitement & should prove informative for all Iron Fest attendees or all those pondering..... what the rash is this Iron Fest!

IRON FEST... promises to be Exeter's best night of the year....ever...so far! That good! April 10th shall be ever tattooed & pierced into the membrane of it's attendees, for all of the right reasons.



A Strategically placed & calculated hype creating comic vibed, fan boy aimed, Film festival utterly dedicated to that absolute genius scallywag wild child Iron Man.

Whats involved you saaaay??? ...Red Carpet Arrival... Paparazzi Greeting (to include both local Press, Photographers & Radio)... Special Iron Man Arrival Cocktail... a naughty 20 minutes to Marvel (...little Joke?) at the absolute sexual & sensational special exhibits taking place; Vintage Motor.... Huy Treong - Superhero Sketching extraordinaire.... No Guts No Glory - Homemade Comics, Zines & Original Art pieces... Moving Pictures - Devon's Masters of Movie Memorabilia...TBClub - Alternative & Tattoo inspired T-Shirt Hero's... Figure It Out! Photography - A Retro, Nostalgic & Alternative Exhibit where old toys are the models.

The Cinematic Event that paved the way for all Superhero's to be edgy, sexy & filthily cool Iron Man 1 in all of its glorious technicolour !

With a film that punishingly good, you'll need not only physiological refreshments yet refreshments of the musical soul. Provided by South Devon's latest Best in show, Poster Child ! Musically making love directly to your lobes with an eclectic & hedonistic mix of originally produced tunes & an alternative take on some familiar tunes too!
 Not to mention the prize giving of competition winners (Best Dressed & Spotted - See Facebook page for full details), browsing of the delectable exhibits & wares... flippin' Photo Opportunities for Fun!

To return to the auditorium for Iron Man 2, another monumental journey into Tony Stark's brilliant yet bonkers brain & bizarre world.

After ALL of that... well Iron Fan's you will be left both wishing you were millionaires you had been forced to build a weapons suit to flee from a sweaty cave, orrrrrr simply chomping at the ruddy bit, waiting for what will seem like the longest fortnight in the world for the big release of Iron Man 3! The first post Avengers cinematic exploration.

Dress Code; All Things Iron Man.
Arrival Time 6:25 PM - April 10th.

Exeter... Your welcome! Devon... Your Welcome! Universe... i wish you well.

To buy your tickets Click Here!

For all the gossip, announcements,photo's & competitions Click Here! or Even Here!

Comic Conventions to West African Sounds of Heaven!

Riiight ya Bloggin' Blighters!

Very much the flavour of the month is all things Pow! Boom! Even Kapow! Can i hear a "Jeepers Batman!?"

Comic Conventions! These weird & wacky gatherings of all things Nerdy,underground & costumed capers have long been an area of the eventing world I've long desired to attend yet until now have not dabbled my dirty little mitts. Boy... I'm sure glad I've dabbled! In fact no longer shall one dabble yet utterly dive into this murky, socially awkward & slightly Body Odour smelling world, bloomin loves it!

Firstly along came February's Exeter Expo and my first venture into such strange animated waters, whilst exhibiting for promotional (reasons to be explained a little later) my immediate worry was my wallet, being an absolute Man-Child and being surrounded by Memorabilia, Comics, Art Prints & Toys from ALL of my favourite things... in my absolute chuffin' element! My eyes could barely contain themselves whilst my hands wanted to explore a whole host of wildly attractive items from Bat-a-rangs to frightfully costumed females, it was all too much! Unsurprisingly for regular readers, my souvenir from this delightful day was two Pin Up inspired naughty'n'nudey sketchbooks! They're not pervy... simply artistic!


Last summer, yours interestingly truly spent some time getting right filthy & mucky at the WOMAD Festival, performing a whole manner of duties, yet whilst Talent Spotting of a musical sort, my ears danced & withered with joy to the absolute cultural exchange/ collaboration of Joe Driscoll & Sekou Kouyate. The mash up of Joe Driscoll's NYC vibes & acoustical twanging & occasional beat boxing lyrics wonderfully blended with the West African feel & sounds of Sekou Kouyate's magical fingers upon the most impossibly stringed instrument, the Kora left all with a sensation of being refreshed and musically cleansed against the actual summer sunshine blazing the fields of the sexual hippy gathering. So as you can imagine after spotting a sly ickle poster for an Exeter Gig, one had to sit down to hide obvious musical arousal (I'm aware I'm starting to sound like a sex pest hippy). The same songs performed to a similar audience- a tantalising mix of middle aged well to do, world music lovers & those who probably grew up in a greenhouse seldom watered, with the same mesmeric outcome!

Following on from the Exeter Expo came the next nerdy step, Birmingham's MCN Comic Convention, with a NEC flaaaaavour!

Highlight of the day (which there were many) had to be the Queue! Without sounding brilliantly British, never has an organised singular line format been that much fun! With every other individual dressed as they're favourite character whilst being both entertained and ridiculed by actual look-a-likes! This is a serious world certainly not to be scoffed at labelled as a childish bunch of people, these geeks mean business! Costumed freaks in my eyes have never looked so good...especially the females, if your into anything which may fall into a Sci-Fi bracket & single get yourself along with male bravado at the ready, you'll scoop up! Unless of course all you do is play computer games 24/7 & costume conceptually create, then privately get in touch I'd be happy to play wing man.


One quarm, is the over-riding  wave of Animee & Manga characters, yes they look great yet creepily embody everything that is largely odd outta Japan....stranger still is when you witness 30+ British teens Dancing in perfect time to a host of 'hits' from Japanese Cartoon Pop bands.... at this point, such behaviours make me want to flee from the scene straight back to silicone chest infested 'Glamour Zone' a land that comfortable Bra's forgot, a land where cleavage seemed to last longer than this winter! A land where nipples straddle the border line of visibility from second to second with every diaphragm flex! A land where any Female who at some point in time may have ever falshed her falsely enhanced chest within the realms of debatable popular culture...exhibits her...exhibits, leaving those who suffer with sweaty plams to sweat even more!

Readers... on that somewhat questioningly stimulating thought, until the next time Bat-Fans, dust off your finest Lycra tights and take to the rooftops as comic justice must be served in such bleak times!

Friday 15 February 2013

Deepest Darkest Winter... From Vigorous Finger Snaps to Homo Trains!

My deepest n' darn est apologies go out to each and every one of you for my absolute 2013 Blogger no-show....now take your hands out of pants, it's not an itch, its an infection!

Lets Blogg!

With my last article and all round journalistic Gizz i left you getting all friggin' festive. So to get fully cosy and win some absolute smoothie points, myself and the cuddle beast went daaaan to the Plymouth Pavilions for The Overtones. Those guys!!! ...That guy with the deepest sexiest voice in the world! The speakers must pretty much pinned down as his voice of pure dark velvet fires through! Singing classic love songs new & old alike in melodic styles of old, reminiscent to the Four Seasons, even Bruno Mars of late, these guys make slick look scruffy. My only criticism, being Bristol Mike within the band, who puts that extra bit of vigour into every single foot slide of finger click, which you may think aaahhh shut ya silly trap up, but once noticed against the other chaps...unnoticeable! However, i want to be an overtone! Partially gay for them, even mike the aggressive clicker!

Burlesque sleepover you saaayy??? For Christmas you saaay?!?(Yes....Sarge...YES!)
A seasonal slap around the chops of all things naughty, festive and a whole world of jingling belles! Now there is truly no need for me to give you the full low down, as regular visitors to this page (i encourage you to spend less time on the net) you fully appreciate how good Kinky & Quirky's Burly Q Devonian Romps actually are.Alongside the UK's leading Dita Von Tease Tribute, an intoxicating Russian turned Californian Essex comedic sexual Phoo Phoo Scrating Genius, a Christmas tree with exposing breasts and an informed take on classical music, comes this.... The major learning point from this delightful and charismatic event is that if you've never seen or heard Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer....your a twonk! You Tube the champion and leading light within the very tweed world of Chap Hop right now! This folks i assure you....will educate, enlighten & expose you to an unparallelled delight. Can't rate this performer highly enough...not that i need to, with one of his next booking being the BRIT Awards after-party....what a room that shall be!

Standard fresh new years vibes have bitten every fun loving and yearning bit of me.....the standard stinking January response....The Theatre.

The last few months at The Princess Theatre, Torquay have been an elaborate eclectic mix to say the very least. Firstly came The Rocky Horror Show...we all know what utter madness that embodies, as if a swirling majestically transsexual tropical storm hits! Every time the brainchild of the very same presenter of the crystal maze, consistently delivers with its wonderful yet cring worthy mix of appalling behaviour and the maddest plot ever....always absolute diiiirty chuckles. Who knew....that seeing Roxanne Pallet from TV getting kissed on the tuppence by an Alien Tranny would so chuffing enjoyable!

Then came the skating trains of a retro future....the starlight express. Never in all of my event attending days i have i experience such striking staging and innovative use of technology combined into and at the very core of quite an old timer of a show.....on bleeedin' roller skates. An all round amusing take on the modern world, classic stereo-types and homosexuality....that right homosexuality! Firstly...try making a man look like a train....not easy, an even tougher task create said character(s) to at any point available insinuate wave after wave of highly strung homosexual air humps right into the membrane. A task this show perfects. Yet somehow its a winning formula; Roller Skates + Emotive Naff Music + Mode of Humanised Public Transport + Highly Homo Innuendo = Right Royal Raging Romp fest of Musical!

I'll leave you to digest this emotional dribblesque torrent of linguistic waffle and to contemplate as to whether or not you've just experienced a new artistic yet deformed version of the English tongue.

Until the next time readers..... if your going for a paddle, make sure you wear wellies (especially you chaps!).