Mumford & The Machine To Florence & Sons

Festive Greetings my little Love Puppets!

Here i am once again to spread my fun filled juices all over your thirsty filthy faces with your sinful quest for knowledge and life enrichment...your outrageous....the lot of ya!

I've found myself in the unusual social situation this month of having to be almost and i strongly stress almost being,dare i say sensible....the very word makes me coil in anger! What with that heavily overweight Chap and his questionable jingle bells just around the corner, one has been selective this month with my much sought after attendance.

GIGS....Glorious Gigs in right royal full frontal non-nudity technicolour all up in your faces!

First came the rafter shaking, floor pummelling, Devonian folk fest and the first date on Mumford & Sons UK tour! Admittedly the tour itinerary made for amusing reading from the LA Bowl to the Princess Theatre, Torquay! Not only had this magical coupling of venue and act got me right dirty excited all the way down through the loins, it's audience also had the silliest of times adjusting to Theatre etiquette whilst Gigging....how inquisitively queer!

After the absolute drama of queueing up in the howling conditions a good month beforehand in my lustful quest for tickets which failed me so gravely, thanks to a well placed source, i had my mucky paws all over a ticket. The whole show was a real dream with the band obviously and genuinely pleased to be once again playing to a home crowd right in bleedin'Blighty! As the those dreamboat Folk loving Londoners smashed their way through hit after hit their apparent joy of playing to a more intimate crowd was warm,tingling and touching in best ways in which you can keep your clothes on! The heralding highlight of this farmyard feeling feast came in unexpected fashion, the unplugging of all electronic equipment save one lusius beam of light, whilst all Mumfords & their chuffing Sons sang acapella. The requested silence while they chirped through this actual once in a lifetime moment was well adhered to, all but a few real bacon rashers, upon the final line the roof and very foundations of the proud old theatre infrastructually soiled its grand old pants, the applause was ridiculously raucous! Mumford & Sons feel free to pop back to the Bay of Screams'n'Dirty Dreams anytime ruddy time you like...pleeeease!

 Next on the agenda...that right flame haired minx Florance & all her Machines playing the cowsheds of all cowsheds.....never has a Cowshed held host to such a jolly eclectic mix! What an evening it twas...from the enormous 1920's Art Deco interactive ever-changing screens.....to Flo and her angelic down right diiirty ghostly manner of belting out hit anthemic dreams. It was as if we had all journeyed into the vacant minds of a 1920s vintage gentry Cow, as the gentleman of the fields dreamt of his brilliant beefy heaven as Florence & all of her Machine serenaded him tenderly to a steakhouse near you. All in all a wonderful wavering anthemic passage to a spacey hedonistic cowshed full of ringing ears and dreams. Florence your a flame headed, feisty, Full Lunged, Amazingly tall musical goddess and i hear by thank you for a frightfully fruitful show.....I'd love to see her fruits. Big Hands....usually means one thing on gal....testicles! It shall not be said not on my watch...take it back you.....yooou utter bumbling baboooon!

Before i cause any further controversy with my naughty nonsense and my outright linguistically loitering, allow me this chance to express my whole hearted festive fully functional feelings of fruitful and frightful friskiness to one and all......and Gawd Bless Robin Hood! See your Chuff Chasers in the new year...mmmwwwah!

Ginger Dreadlocks to a Complete Crotch Full of Cream!

Elo...elo....ellooooooooo!

Its been a little while since my last entry, so i thought I'd come along and spank right around the chops with another awful assault on the senses.... my outrageous wranglings! Your probably thinking `oh yeah another one of these full of life wide boys, chirping up with how busy he is all the time!' Although in thinking such dreadful thoughts you'd be largely spot on, also slightly misguidedly too. Things i';m afraid readers have got a little tamer of late......gaaaasppp! Horror this could be Novembers only post..... before the absolute flurry of funsies' in the depths of December.

To business then. Gigs are the flavour of the month my little gossip hungry hounds of happiness. First up was a evening of wonderment at Exeter University's Great Hall with old hippy, `I'm gonna hug everybody' Newton Faulkner. The man.... to be frightfully honest........is an absolute Ginger Wet Dream! The things that chap can do with a guitar, lyrics and even ad-libbing during some more tender moments are ruddy untold! I'm personally always baffled with how shy singers/musicians are when it comes to the simple act of talking, they warble and sing the roof off like a right mutha'licker, yet a ickle bit of chitty chatter over a mic stand....utterly awkward....usually. Yet here with Captain Dreadlocks Faulkner....I'd more than happily pay just for Story time with Newton. True to form a journey through his body of works was an absolute musical experience, one leaving you wanting to hug the heck outta everybody! Potentially the most underrated artist to ever grace our baffling British music scene?

My foooooooking favourite time of year.....Halloween!!! As an honest and up-standing chap, raised within the frameworks of religion, i know i shouldn't get so excited.....the paranormal scares the chuffing chuff juice right out of all exit holes even some entry ones too! But it's that one night of the year when everybody makes the effort with the old theming and dress up, which is certainly not anything to pass on. Overly Obviously, i spend my Halloweens with those little rascals Kinky & Quirky (The South West's Finest Burly Q Providers), this year again was the turn of the Batman Villains. Full Cast; Bane, Mr.Freeze(ME), Two-Face, Scarecrow, Riddler, Harley Quinn, Catwomen, Batwoman, Poison Ivy...admittedly we had two Catwomens, but we certainly had a lesser one! Any night with K&Q is an absolute dream and for most unless your an absolute deviant of a devilish kind, a journey into the jaw achingly unexpected! As ever, it bloomin' was.....from a Zombie blood dribbling Alice in nothing vaguely like wonderland to the artist mostly known as Prince Muff Diving a fellow performer for a face full of whipped cream....to the sexually charged track....yep, you guessed it....Cream. Yet for all the exotically exciting efforts of those to grace the stage, on a Halloween night with K&Q, it's those attending who really bring their A-games, frightening frivolous fancy dress all up in your face!I'd go as far as saying no other establishment would compete on such a night, the collaboration and freedom by forging Halloween twisted Burly Q outfits is to put it mildly, mostly genitalia stirring!

Another Gig you say???...phhorrr...bwahhh....gigs again...well i never?!?!? Said the 1850's General.
Trumpets Please!?!?!?! Cause it's only a right royal triumphant foot stomping, folk faced, darkly deep Devonian homecoming of Ben Howard! Boy...that boy can play! With his mix of mesmerically chilled freshly released Burgh Island EP tracks and usual classics which leave you wanting to either snuggle into a big pair of udders or lick the very soul of the person next to you....the guy was on top form. Along with his band, all were obviously right horny to be playing their biggest Gig on home Devonian soil to date....as much as he brought the brilliance the crowd soaked it right up, right up em' in fact! To close the show with a Devonian flag around his neck like a heroic local freedom folk fighter truly struck a chord with his adoring and devouring fans.
Ben Howard....Devon made him so creaming....and musically dreamy!

Quickly now.... go and make yourself a cup of tea like a good chap....sit down again....and breathe! Don't worry it's all over and everything will work out just right.....you'll see. That's all I've got for so far for this nauseating and narky nosh off November....until the next time civilians..... pretend all of this was an innocent dream....and that scratchy feeling deep within your loins was my fingernails!

I'll leave with that tantalising thought.

 

Team Scream.

Uncle Tacko's Flea Circus to Up @ The 02!

Pppheeww...what a chuffing week!

There's me in my last Blogg banging on about all these exciting and engaging things i get up to....aaand Pow! Slapping me in the face like a right soggy slimeball of a Salmon....a dry spell!
Fear not fun fans and my frivalous ones...funky times all up in your face!

Last Thursday, one embarked upon a voyage through time, boobies, bit of bum, Beatrix Von Bourbon, magic, endless Canapes & Champers, hoola hoops, blues and largely an all round smoozey and very boozey evening had by all. A wonderful culture clashing and smashing night of naughtyness all exquistetly organised by the delectable Kinky & Quirky (The finest producers of all things Burlesque & Boogie), a night where the cash waving crinklies smoozed with the funsters of crime....my lot! As per usual Beatrix Von Bourbon was a wirlwind of sexuality, class & sass. Its no wonder as to why she is such a leading light within the Burlesque Breveren, also a real pleasure to meet! Asides from the waterfall of expensive booze i seemed to be paddling in, the star of the show.....Introducing Uncle Tacko's Mighty Flea Circus!!! Now this act is nothing new, yet still hilarious, especially when performed to a crowd who pay £35 at least for black fluffy gloves, i've never seen a chap look so uncomfortable and largely bemused to be told that Fleavil Canevil "is most happy in Jonathon's Crotch with a new family" whilst Tacko holds his Butterfly net to his penis....Jonathon not laughing....Matty Ford & Co = histerical!

Into the weekend of wonders just past. Breif back story to the main story, Girlfriends surprise Birthday London weekend. Any visit to our fair dirty smoggy capital city is always most welcomed by myself as its constant presents itself to me like a needy hooker....my laaavely lusty London.
True to form this was a weekend full of frantic & furious Fun! Ignoring the onslaught of disgruntled dolies demostrating rasking the Tube line right up! The line Up involved; Harrods Window Licking Shopping, failing to enter the Barbican's Rain Room, Climbing The 02...thats correct the chuffing 02 Arena, Mickey Jackson By Cirque Du Soleill, Camden Taawn, The Hollywood Costume Exhibition, Disney's Fantasia at The Royal Albert Hall...and breathe readers.

With so much to chatter on about i'll pluck out the plushy highlights. Climbing the 02 could be re-deined as walking up a rashing tent in smelly blue jumpsuits that resemble the scent of post workout Jodie Marsh's Gootch! Yet the conditions could not have been more favourable with views to absolutely get sexually excited about! With the wild concuction of Sunset, Forboding growing Rainclouds & the city of London twickling her naughty little lights at us.....the city certainly was enticing sight for our hungry eyeballs to devour.

 

 

In right royal regards to the extravaganza which is the Mickey Jackson's Immortal World Tour Cirque Du Soliel styley, in my star spangled eyes, no words from any Blogg could such a production any justice....i could write a chuffin book about it! I probably have the love within my fingertips, but simply not the time.

 Until the Next Time Readers...(Post Halloween) For your next instalment of Devilishly Delectable deeds....spooky style.

I'm Bored Lets Talk About Me.

Firstly allow one to introduce oneself...

I'm an outrageous furry fun-loving, fun spanking, sexually repressed, impulsive, mostly egotistical with an absolute love of all things that stink of fun and games!

The main reasons for creating this blog are to prove that life as a student and a young man living in coastal Devon can be both eventful & engaging. A recent thought dawned on me..."Chuffing heck, ere i am, attending all of these events, gigs, gatherings and meetings with madness, i need to create a bladddy blogg" thought Matty. With future aspiration of a career within the events industry, joining the technological seedy world of bloggers seemed the naughty but natural thing to do. One great big booming online Matty World memory bank of my capers.

Not to mention the fact, i'm pretty darn sure people are going to want to be involved with the wildly strung world of Matty Fords social endeavours, adventures and exploits...it's gonna be a whole world of naughtiness, nakedness and overall jaw-dropping interest.

Watch this cyberspace for an alternative look at life inside, on and all over the rashing chops of Devon's Events Calender...or at least the happenings which i think are cool enough to attend, or those that deem me cool enough to get a ruddy invite! Club Nights...Bore right off! "Oh...i saw me a wicked little DJ set.....and did a bit of wee for myself"...none of this sort of god awful reporting shall be taking place here.

Ones writing methodology will certainly test all language & literature skills you believe or claim to have a strong grasp of. As I'm coming right at your face with a whole world of wondrous wordsmithery and an outright assault on the reading eye. Scandalous smutty humour and a twisted tale telling twist.

Blogging bloomin' babes & bums...."Here Me Now".....or at least shortly.