Monday, 17 December 2012

Mumford & The Machine To Florence & Sons

Festive Greetings my little Love Puppets!

Here i am once again to spread my fun filled juices all over your thirsty filthy faces with your sinful quest for knowledge and life enrichment...your outrageous....the lot of ya!

I've found myself in the unusual social situation this month of having to be almost and i strongly stress almost being,dare i say sensible....the very word makes me coil in anger! What with that heavily overweight Chap and his questionable jingle bells just around the corner, one has been selective this month with my much sought after attendance.

GIGS....Glorious Gigs in right royal full frontal non-nudity technicolour all up in your faces!

First came the rafter shaking, floor pummelling, Devonian folk fest and the first date on Mumford & Sons UK tour! Admittedly the tour itinerary made for amusing reading from the LA Bowl to the Princess Theatre, Torquay! Not only had this magical coupling of venue and act got me right dirty excited all the way down through the loins, it's audience also had the silliest of times adjusting to Theatre etiquette whilst inquisitively queer!

After the absolute drama of queueing up in the howling conditions a good month beforehand in my lustful quest for tickets which failed me so gravely, thanks to a well placed source, i had my mucky paws all over a ticket. The whole show was a real dream with the band obviously and genuinely pleased to be once again playing to a home crowd right in bleedin'Blighty! As the those dreamboat Folk loving Londoners smashed their way through hit after hit their apparent joy of playing to a more intimate crowd was warm,tingling and touching in best ways in which you can keep your clothes on! The heralding highlight of this farmyard feeling feast came in unexpected fashion, the unplugging of all electronic equipment save one lusius beam of light, whilst all Mumfords & their chuffing Sons sang acapella. The requested silence while they chirped through this actual once in a lifetime moment was well adhered to, all but a few real bacon rashers, upon the final line the roof and very foundations of the proud old theatre infrastructually soiled its grand old pants, the applause was ridiculously raucous! Mumford & Sons feel free to pop back to the Bay of Screams'n'Dirty Dreams anytime ruddy time you like...pleeeease!

 Next on the agenda...that right flame haired minx Florance & all her Machines playing the cowsheds of all cowsheds.....never has a Cowshed held host to such a jolly eclectic mix! What an evening it twas...from the enormous 1920's Art Deco interactive ever-changing Flo and her angelic down right diiirty ghostly manner of belting out hit anthemic dreams. It was as if we had all journeyed into the vacant minds of a 1920s vintage gentry Cow, as the gentleman of the fields dreamt of his brilliant beefy heaven as Florence & all of her Machine serenaded him tenderly to a steakhouse near you. All in all a wonderful wavering anthemic passage to a spacey hedonistic cowshed full of ringing ears and dreams. Florence your a flame headed, feisty, Full Lunged, Amazingly tall musical goddess and i hear by thank you for a frightfully fruitful show.....I'd love to see her fruits. Big Hands....usually means one thing on gal....testicles! It shall not be said not on my watch...take it back you.....yooou utter bumbling baboooon!

Before i cause any further controversy with my naughty nonsense and my outright linguistically loitering, allow me this chance to express my whole hearted festive fully functional feelings of fruitful and frightful friskiness to one and all......and Gawd Bless Robin Hood! See your Chuff Chasers in the new year...mmmwwwah!

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