Sunday, 2 June 2013

A Clockwork Orange To Beach Polo

Apologies Flithbags!

I genuinely intend to update y'all sooo much more regularly than this, the very essence of this bleedin' blog is to tell the stories of a frolicking funster in Devon aspiring to carve his path in life every time a story rears its fruity head....almost weekly. Yet auld father time fingers me in the metaphorical writers bum! I hate it so.

Since we last danced this absolute slow jam of a dance we've two bank holidays and relative sunshine! Consider this Bank Holiday Tales - Part Uno.

Now the first bank holiday of the month was spent as follows; dressed as a massive cultural sexual offender definitely on the list for multiple offences, hopefully largely flashing rather than anything serious.

Firstly came another absolute blast from Kinky & Quirky and show to celebrate all things geek, Sci-Fi & sexy 'May the 4th Be With' Burlesque & Boogie at the English Riviera Centre, Torquay. Headlining was the genius Gentleman Rhymer, pioneer of Chap Hop Mr.B!!! Check this; as even i don't possess the words to describe just how good this guy is! Now the rapey element comes with the fact that my drogues and I spent the entire evening dressed the cast of A Clock Work Orange, your maybe thinking COP OUT! Don't....this piece of cinematic mastery is recognised as the 4th best Sci-Fi Movie this world has produced...hence the cultural aspect of the weekend. Yet, one can disappointingly inform, no "Bit of the old in-out, in-out" for me.

The following day contained further dress up as absolute historic sex pests....Pirates! To be exact, the Brixham Pirate Festivals World Record attempt at creating the worlds longest pirate conga line...the port basked in 1980s pirate licked disco glory...mostly as its easy to break a record when your the first to attempt the chuffer. I'll confess we joined and fighted for the noblest of pirate traditions "The right to fight, for the run away" J.Sparrow (1827) There's certainly something soul satisfying for a chap from the South West to fully indulge in a day full of piratical activities such as staggering around bashing all sorts of sword against anyone & anything, surrounded by a world looking the part.

A personal venture of Mine with Figure It Out! Photography, check & FB 'Like';!/FigureItOutPhotography

Took me into a world brilliantly madder than a bag of frogs attached to a jet ski....Devon Geek Nights= Wowsers....these guys know how kick it geeky! A juicy little monthly event held on the outskirts of Exeter in The Golden Pond Chinese Restaurant & Bar, Caution this event contains those who are serious about chosen topic and a challenge to their knowledge may result in a lengthy Dr.Who or worse lecture - Re-enactments - An Awesome buffet which is likely to broaden your waistline - Amazing Kapow! vibed prizes. Great show all round! Confirming once more....i know nothing about Star Wars, nor do i wish to!
Finally for this week, sure i attended the annual champagne licked & filthy rich enthused annual Beach Polo Exhibition, held on the sands of Watergate Bay, Newquay. The sun shone, the horses or 'Ponies' as the absolute British Sargent Major type commentator referred affectionately to them as pounded the sands as if they actually knew what was going on....all to the fine reggae reggae sauce sounds of the Back Beat SoundSystem! Shamazingly these chuffin' 'ponies' genuinely seemed to wince at exactly the right to avoid an absolute clobbering in the chops...most of the time. Even with an occasional spot casual animal cruelty, quite the spectacle backed up by a sexual Atlantic sunset.
Stay tuned as next week...I'll give a right royal review of filthy festivals & my trading experiences at... for the time being indulge yourselves in this word smithery whilst i scrubby some of the mud outta me inner loins.

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